Lisa Marie Presley married for the fourth time

Remember when she was married to Michael Jackson and they made out really creepy at the MTV awards? Anyway, fourth time's a charm!
[MSNBC]

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Blind item

Here is a blind item from Ted Casablaca from about a week ago:

One Wigged-Out Blind Vice

Snort a million lines of Bolivian marching powder. Have threesomes and group sex, so much so that the Oriental rugs need to be thrown off the balcony 'cause they'd never get clean. Hey, I ain't judging.But here's where I draw the moral line: the hair.
Because without good hair, whether it's dyed or natural, curly or ironed, where the hell would we be? Panicking like crazy alongside Musty Mayhem, it would seem.

It's like this: The skinny ninny is not eating. And given her predilection for preposterously skanky clothes, that's no shocker. M2 doesn't look like she sucks on much sustenance, anyhow. I mean, she's been teensy for a long-ass time--even back when Lindsay Lohan was originally voluptuous. Can you remember that? Barely, I know.
And now things have gotten bad. "She has alopecia," whispers an M.M. associate. "Her hair is falling out, and she is devastated."

Now, kittens, it's a horrible thing, scalp disease. But we all know that anorexia makes the follicles angry. And Musty knows it, too. Still, she won't eat! She will not fork anything into that prissy mouth of hers.Indeed, I very much hope she does. This babe is such a fashionista, and we all know what the worst accessory in the world is...Dead head!

Okay, this Blind's gonna give me nightmares, so I'll stop now.

And apparently it is not: Whitney Houston, Nicole Richie, Calista Flockhart, or Lara Flynn Boyle.

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Foxy Brown's on her way to broken silence

Remember a while back I told you about Foxy Brown's leagal and hearing problems? Sad, right? Yeah, I felt bad. Anyway, Jay-Z told fans via a live chat on the Rock-a-fella Records website that Foxy underwent surgery to help restore her hearing, and is recovering well. Now she can hear, loud and clear, billions of people not buying her albums. Get well soon, Foxy!

[ONTD]

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Um, ew?

Yeah, so this is a clip of Kid Rock and Scott Stapp handling their business with some skanky VD groupies. Dlisted believes Kid Rock is getting "figged" in the clip. Apparently figging is "when you put a chile or ginger up your ass so it stings and shit." If that's what it means then I am sure Kid Rock is getting figged here.

Video is after the jump. Enjoy!

UPDATE: Here is some more news on the sex tape. Highlights - it's being distributed by the same people who brought you "One Night in Paris," it's 20 minutes long and was taped 6 years ago (wasn't Scott Stapp in Creed then?) and at no point do Scott and Kid have sex with each other. [Rush & Molloy]

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Paris Hilton goes through Greek shipping heir boyfriends like Courtney Loves goes through tubes of red lipstick

Here is what her publicist had to say about the breakup and her being attacked with flour by PETA:

"I believe Paris and Stavros are still a couple, and Paris did not wear fur in the show. She loves animals."

To be fair, how hard would you try if you were Paris Hilton's publicist?
[Page Six]

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Star Jones getting kicked off The View?

Because viewers don't (gasp!) like her? I don't wish people failure, even if I don't like them, so I don't actually consider this good news. I only wish Star could bring herself to be a little more... human. Maybe kick the arrogance down a couple notches, and possibly be slightly interesting from time to time. She could also stop writing books about how to be almost as awesome as she is.

[National Enquirer]

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Welcome back to me!

I cannot express how badly I have missed my blog. Having to do work is just not for me. Luckily nothing earth-shattering has taken place in my absence. Here's the rundown of things I have missed:

Britney Spears was in the hospital briefly with "stomach pains" (maybe no one ever told her you can't eat the crayons even if the colors look yummy), but she is fine now.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are very much still in a fake relationship, even though they might be having fake pre-nup issues.

It's possible Jessica Simpson was having an affair with Adam Levine before she and Nick decided to fill the world in on their separation.

Lindsay Lohan is apparently being baby sat by her mom for her late night outings. It's not deterring her from snorting coke in the bathroom with Nicky Hilton though.

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Happy Valentine's Day!

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What would you do for your iPod?

I love my iPod, I really do. I treat it pretty well, I refuse to sync it with other people's computers, and I bought it a nice case and put a Pucca sticker on it. I would never want any harm to befall my iPod. That would kill me a little bit on the inside. But would I jump onto the subway tracks to save it? Would I pay a man in a wheelchair to get it for me?

Then I felt a brief tug on my ears, and silence. The iPod had fallen through a hole in my coat pocket and skidded across the platform like a bright white hockey puck. There was a sharp thwack as it slammed into the side of the subway car and fell into the crack between platform and subway, down to the tracks. The whole moment had the brisk finality of a goal in air hockey.

Everyone facing the open subway door, and a number of people standing behind them, watched the iPod drop to oblivion. Then they looked up at me.

The man in the wheelchair sprang to his feet. A miracle?

"What you drop?" he demanded. "I get it for you. No problem."

My answer to both above quesions, of course, is no. I am very afraid of the mighty subway. I don't even change cars while the train is moving (well, maybe a couple of times in high school). I would probably ask someone not in a wheelchair to get it for me, but if no one was around to do it, I would give up and leave it to the rats and whatever else lives on the subway tracks. I might have a little ceremony for it though. An iPod wake or something.

[NY Times]

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How much do you actually want to know about Britney Spears' sex life?

Um, is this TMI? I know there is a fine line, but I think this is defintely TMI. From The Post Chronicle:

Britney Spears 'Crazy Good' Sex Life Needs Help
by Tashi Singh
Feb 13, 2006

Pop-tart Britney Spears has reportedly become so obsessed with her newborn son, Sean Preston, that her sex life has become non-existent. The Toxic singer -- who touted the virtues of the pregnant sex she had with aspiring rapper Kevin Federline, saying it was "crazy good" -- is determined to rekindle the flame with romantic roadtrips.
Early last year, the sexpot told People magazine that sex is: "better than it was before".

According to Asian News International, Spears had reportedly "mastered" the art of giving oral sex thanks to a little help from 'Sex And The City' star Kim Cattrall. Britney reportedly gained this important knowledge on the art of fellatio after reading a sex manual written by Cattrall, 'Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm'.

The Actress' book contains what has been described as numerous graphic diagrams, complete with instructions on how to perform a variety of sex acts and different positions for intercourse.

According to the makers of a documentary, Britney's redneck Roots, the sexy singer purchased the how-to while dating pop heartthrob Justin Timberlake.

If Britters continues to blow-up, the only way she's going to keep Kevin happy is to become better at 'that' than anyone else on the planet. The federjerk has already been reportedly calling her names and relentlessly teasing her about her weight.

Fuggin jerk.

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Tom Cruise is definitely not gay

Tom Cruise's lawyers do not like it when you say their client is gay. First they stopped South Park from showing the "In the Closet" episode (which was pretty fucking funny, especially when John Travolta went in the closet with him) and now a biographer who went so far as to hire a private investigator to look into Cruise's gayness, is being threatned:

"I wrote a letter to Mr. Morton back in November and said he obviously was entitled to write the book but 'make sure you check your facts'. If he tries to use my letter to create the impression that Mr Cruise did have a gay affair, we will certainly sue... because the story is false. Mr Cruise is not gay."

Again, I don't understand why he won't come out. He's very upfront about being a weirdo, a creep, an asshole, and totally fucking insane, but he can't let his fans know he likes to have sex with men.

[Starpulse]

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Scott Stapp just doesn't add up

I'm very suspicious of this man. I find him creepy, of course, but sometimes I think it's something more than just that. Looks like he got his Christian ass arrested again on Saturday at LAX (the airport, not the club) for being drunk in a public place. The weird part is he got arrested in an LA airport one day after getting married in Miami. The report says it was unclear if his new wife was with him. See what I mean?

[TMZ]

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Celebrity mysteries

I like to think I know a fair amount of Hollywood gossip, or at least the major gossip. And I like to think I'm able to sort through ridiculous rumors, and gossip that seems to have some truth in it. But there are still a few things I have not been able to figure out.

1. Who dumped who? Nick or Jessica? I thought it was Jessica dumping Nick, but then after they announced their divorce, she went all about town pouting (although the botched collagen job had something to do with that), crying, and feeling lonely, while Nick seemed to be doing fine. But then there were the rumors about Nick begging Jessica to take him back, which made sense to me because his future depends on her celebrity. And now it seems like Nick has totally moved on and Jessica is begging him to take her back. The only thing I know to definitely be true is that Nick Lachey and CaCee Cobb have definitely at least made out.

2. Who is more into who(m?) in the Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie deal? I thought it was Brad. He left his wife for her and seemed to dive right into Angelina's complicated life with great enthusiasm. But then there are the rumors that he loves the kids but not her, etc. Also, are they going to get married or not? There are an equal number of stories reporting both possibilities.

3. Steve-O? Why? How? Are we all sure he is actually famous?

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Blizzard 2006: BLIZZARD EDITION

Alicia & Damali vs. the camera-2
Originally uploaded by damali79.

This morning when I woke up, it felt like Christmas. Not because Britney Spears announced her divorce from Kevin Federline or because Jake Gyllenhaal asked me to marry him - it was snowing! It was snowing pretty hard, actually. So hard that it set a snowfall record for New York City - 26 point something inches! I frolicked briefly in the snow and sort of helped build a snow fort. I think if you click on that really bad picture of me and really good picture of Alicia, you can see the whole stream. I'm going to the supermaket to buy some ice cream.

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SNOW!!!: BLIZZARD EDITION

Out the window 4
Originally uploaded by damali79.

I just took this from my bedroom window. Should I be worried about the weight of the snow breaking it? I told my mom my only fear was the cable lines going out. Her response was, "Yeah! You'd die if that happened!" So true.

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Clay Aiken's gay scandal: BLIZZARD EDITION

So, um, yeah, let's talk about Clay Aiken's gay scandal. Actually first let's talk about how this blizzard has affected Sunday morning programming. I love Sunday. I get to wake up at 11:30, eat yummy bagels and drink yummy coffee and be totally lazy. The other great thing about Sunday is The McLaughlin Group, which is by far the best Sunday morning news show. So today, because the local news feels compelled to offer us constant live coverage of the snow falling on the ground, they have pushed back the normal programming schedule on NBC. Meet the Press is supposed to be on at 11:00, followed by some bullshit NBC special on child protective services or something. What about the McLaughlin Group? I noticed that Fox is still showing its Sunday programs. Why do the weather fanatics get to win today? Ok, so apparently there is 22.8 inches of snow in Central Park, and apparently that is the 2nd highest amount in NYC history, but seriously, I look forward t John McLaughlin all week. I know it's snowing. I don't need a live shot from the Garden State Parkway. Oh, wait, apparently the McLaughlin Group will be on after the child abuse story. I flipped out for nothing.

Ok, so let's talk about how Clay Aiken likes to anally penetrate other men. I'm sure you've heard about his Army lover man coming forward about their relationship. Perhaps you've even heard about the screen name he used on the gay website - "valleyprettyboy" (LOL!), or maybe you even heard something about the death threats Clay's fans have sent to John Paulus, the man who outed Clay. Well, you can click the embarrassment level up a couple notches, because according to a NY Daily News report

John Paulus, the gay guy who ratted Clay Aiken out to The National Enquirer after an alleged online hookup, hit town this week for interviews and added a whole new dimension to the scandal. He's, like, 300 years older than his online picture! Poor Clay: Worst. Internet. Date. Ever.

I never really undrestood why some celebrities won't come out of the closet. Hollywood LOVES gays. It's so good for your career! It's not like Clay is a rapper ot a football player or something. Someone get this man a PR agent.

[Gatecrasher - there's also a blind item at the bottom of the page, that might be worth thinking over.]

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Cabin fever?

I'm bored. Sue me.
[Spell with flickr]

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