Divorce Kevin NOW!

Something has to be done about Britney Spears. I know I've made fun of her in the past, because making fun of her is (a) easy (b) funny (c) better than doing work (d) makes me feel a little better about my own life. But all kidding aside, I'm actually starting to get kind of angry at Kevin Federline and I resent how badly he has fucked up her life for his own gain.

Kevin Federline appears to be sitting on top of the world right now. He has access to more money than I'm sure he ever thought possible. He might not have a successful rap career, but he has a rap career courtesy of the celebity status he obtained by marrying Britney Spears. He lives in a mansion with a staff, doesn't take care of any of his kids, drives a nice car, and has diamond-encrusted watches.

Meanwhile, Britney looks like a steamy pile of cow shit. Honestly, folks, what is going on in this picture? I rarely see pictures of her out on the town wearing any makeup at all, but I'm willing to look past that. She doesn't appear to comb or wash her hair anymore from what I can tell, and when she's not out at clubs dressed like a cheap pole dancer, she bumming around town in clothes that look like they were pulled out of a Salvation Army drop-off box. Who is letting her out of the house looking like this? Doesn't she look really sad in this picture? Like she's just given up?

I think it's all very sad. And I can't wait for the day Britney divorces that motherfucker, Kevin Federline, and doesn't let him have one more dollar of her money. Let's all pray this day comes soon.

{Image Source}

{Click here for more}

Dave Chappelle on Oprah

It's pretty early in the morning. I went to sleep a few hours ago and normally I sleep like a rock, but I made the mistake of going to bed with a tummy full of chicken burrito, beer, and whiskey. The good thing about being up insanely early is that I get to catch up on some stuff. Stuff like watching the Oprah Winfery episode I recorded yesterday.

So Oprah interviewed Dave Chappelle and it was all very, very weird. What you have to love about Oprah is that she dives right in and asks celebrities the questions people want answers to, and asks follow-up questions if they try to skate around it. Basically the first words of Oprah's mouth after Dave got on the stage were, "Why did you walk away from the $50 million?" Then Dave explains that he wasn't walking away from the money, but the conditions under which he found himself working all of a sudden. This is where is starts to get a little weird.

Dave, right off the bat, launches into a conspiracy theory about networks, music producers, etc. purposefully protraying their talent as insane after signing them into big contracts. He uses Mariah Carey and Martin Lawrence as examples, which, I mean, is kind of convincing. He says he was not crazy, but just extremely stressed out with the responsibily of making another hit season. Then he goes off about how the show got to be such a success and how he came to be in a position to make all that money (ratings were sky high and DVD sales were setting all-time records).

Then Oprah cuts to the Chappelle's Show episode in which Oprah is having Dave's baby. Then she comes back and asks Dave if there is any truth to the rumors that he was on drugs or crazy and in a mental institution. Dave says flatly he was not on drugs or crazy at all. He says he was doing sketches that were funny, but socially irresponsible and started to question his ethics. He felt like he was deliberately being encouraged to do this kind of comedy and keep on doing it since it was making so much money for so many people.

Keep reading the full post after the jump.

He used one sketch he did as an example: In the sketch there were little pixies that would appear every time racist things would happen, and the pixies were in black face (Dave used used black face to personify the N word). He saw the sketch as meaning that everyone has racist tendencies and small things you say have racial undertones, the black face pixies were little reminders that racism still exisits even if people aren't calling you the N word to your face. But, Dave explained, he got some unexpected reactions. He said one white person on the set laughed in a way that made him feel uncomfortable; like he was laughing at him and not with him. Apparently this was some sort of awakening for Dave, because he didn't want to portay black people negatively for the sake of comedy - he was actually trying to expose racism with his comedy. After that you really started to see Dave's internal conflict, because he said, as a comedian, it's not his job to be socially responsible, but he also didn't want to absolve himself of any social responsibilty. He says this incident was the "first tipping point."

The other events that led to his unannounced departure from the show were when he says Comedy Central planted a story in the papers that he had pneumonia and and later planted another story that he had writer's block (neither of which were true, he says) and that they put up a wall in his office, claiming that he wanted one - all in an effort to make him seem or even feel insane. Now this is where Dave started to lose me. I just don't understand why CC would do all this crazy shit of out of the blue. Dave offers no explanation for CC's actions other than his conspiracy theory, and he also never explains the purpose of this conspiracy. What would Comedy Central gain from making him look crazy? I guesss maybe they could use that against him to take control away from him on the show... I think he was trying to suggest that, but the whole thing seemed a little far-fetched, and it just seemed too much like Dave felt the world was against him. I kind of hate to say this, but he was talking as if he were a little bit crazy or at least extremely paranoid. I mean, I see why he'd be super cautious with CC, but he was being cautious to such a degree that he would rather take off to Africa without telling anyone (except his brother apparently) than stay at CC and let them manipulate him. I don't know. It just seems like a strange thing to do based on an extreme interpretation of Comedy Central's actions.

So then he talks about his leaving the show in the middle of taping the season. He says before he actually split, he kind of knew he was going to do it. Things had started to deterioate at work. The negotiations were apparently very difficult and he says people started taking credit for different things and it all got to be too much for him so he just left the situation entirely. Dave says the whole time CC was trying to convince him he was crazy and even tried to convince him to take psychiatric medication. What? Part of me believes CC actually did this, because he doesn't act totally normal, but whatever, CEOs of multi-billion dollar companies have their own eccentricities, but the Board of Directors doesn't tell them to start taking Wellbutrin or Xanex. Geniuses are crazy. Whatever.

Dave talks a little bit about being famous and how hard show business is and alludes to the pressure that came from being given a $50 million contract - he said it was like someone saying, "You're the CEO of a $50 million company. Good luck!" But then when Oprah asked him if the money was too much to handle, he says it was not the money or the fame - he loves being famous.

Oprah asks about his relationship with his former writing partner, Neil. Dave says he was upset with Neil because he went to the papers and said that Dave wasn't well, but never called him to ask how he was doing, so Dave isn't convinced that Neil was actually worried. Dave keeps talking about "vitamin love" and how it was missing from the show and his relationships. Oprah asked Dave if he was paranoid and he said of course he was. He just got $50 million, so he was like a "marked man" and had to watch his back. Oprah asked if he went to a mental institution in South Africa and he says he didn't. "Why would I leave America and go to Africa for medical treatment?" True. He went to Africa because he had family friendss there and he thought it was the kind of place he could go to quietly reflect. Fair enough.

Dave said he left the show because everyday when he went to work, he didn't have the same good feeling (the vitamin love was missing!). He "felt like a prostitute" and he kind of felt like a sellout as well. He said when he heard that one white guy laughing the wrong way, he felt "like they got me." Then he goes on about how he's a conspiracy theorist, using as an example how Hollywood likes to make black comedians wear dresses in movies (exhibit A, Martin in Big Momma's House). He told a story about being on the set of a movie he was filming with Martin when one of the producers wanted him to do a scene in which he had to dress like a woman (which they had not agreed on before). They were persistent in trying to convince him the scene would be hilarious, but he refused.

Now the big question - will Dave Chappelle go back to Comedy Central??? He says he's gone back and forth on it, and decided he wanted to be part of the solution, not part of the problem - he wanted to be more socially resposible. What does that mean? Does that mean he'll stop doing jokes abot the gay KKK and stop using the N word? Oh God, I hope not! He goes on the say he would need to be assured that he could make a "proper working environment" and have the kind of control he feels comfortable with.

He also said he wanted to give his half of the DVD revenue "back to the people." He says he wants to give the money back to Katrina victims and his High School... and Oprah tells him to be careful about what he says because he's on national TV. Dave says he doesn't want the money or the drama. He wants to give the money to people who are not exploiting him. He wants doing the show to be sort of a charitable venture, so "even if I say something socially irresponsible, it's going to a socially responsible cause." For some reason the housewives love that line and explode into applause and smiles.

So that's basically it. Dave will go back to the show and finish the season if CC is willing to meet his demands, which seem very reasonable. It seems like he should be able to work with whomever he wants and do skits about whatever he wants and the show will be enormously successful no matter what, so CC can only gain from him coming back. Also he'd be giving his half of the DVD sales to charity, so what does CC care? A report from E! Online News said that on Friday, Comedy Central stated their door is always open to Dave and that he is a "comedy genius whose work we truly value." Oh man, they're kissing his ass already.

Then Oprah and Dave talked about his new movie, Dave Chappelle's Block party, which looks hilarious!!

So all in all, the interview was informative. I learned that Dave Chappelle is in fact crazy, that he is extremely paranoid, and a control freak. Now, I don't know how big a deal that is if that is what makes him so hysterically funny. I guess I like the fact that he basically told Comedy Central to fuck off when they were trying to fuck with him, but I just think it was an unnecessarily dramatic way to voice his frustration. I'm glad he went on Oprah's show though, and I am obviously glad that there might be a full season 3 after all.

UPDATE: Here is video from Best Week Ever. In this clip he talks about feeling manipulated. If you click the middle of the player, you'll be able to see two more clips posted by BWE.

{Click here for more}

I almost forgot!

Dave Chappelle will be on Oprah today!!

{Click here for more}

Britney Spears fan photo

Umm... can you tell me what is wrong with this picture? Here is a hint. Britney Spears is wearing lingerie at a club. She is taking a picture in a bathroom. The girl on the left is holding a shoe. The girl on the left is wearing a scarf. The girl on the left is wearing the opposite kind of outfit as Britney Spears.
[IDLYITW]

{Click here for more}

Blind items

Which sexy actress was more than just a fashion model before she married a handsome actor and had his kids? This beauty was dumped by her agency when her bookers learned she was stripping in a Queens joint for extra cash.

Which newly single sexpot bedded a cad-about-town - who has already slept with several starlets of lesser wattage - after a boozy night at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood?

Which actress who voiced a popular cartoon series is said to be a slam-dunk in the sack for Hollywood party boys who prefer a certain kind of sex act?

Hmmm... my guesses after the jump

Which sexy actress was more than just a fashion model before she married a handsome actor and had his kids? This beauty was dumped by her agency when her bookers learned she was stripping in a Queens joint for extra cash.
No idea. I'll think about it some more.

Which newly single sexpot bedded a cad-about-town - who has already slept with several starlets of lesser wattage - after a boozy night at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood?
Obviously my guess is Jessica Simpson and Adam Levine (exhibit A).

Which actress who voiced a popular cartoon series is said to be a slam-dunk in the sack for Hollywood party boys who prefer a certain kind of sex act?
Brittany Murphy - she did (does?) the voice of Luanne on King of the Hill and was the popular guess of a previous blind item involving similar activities.

{Click here for more}

More news on Britney Spears' possible pregnancy

From Female First:

America's In Touch magazine quoted a friend of the singer as saying: "Britney is definitely pregnant again. She is acting the same way she did when she was expecting her first child."

The magazine also claimed she had been seen patting her stomach and telling onlookers in Malibu: "That's right. Baby number two."

Hmm... this could be Britney trying to start false rumors about herself. Gotta keep the press interested in something other than her husband's music carrer.

UPDATE: Perez Hilton says Britney's publicist confirms she is... not pregnant. God does answer prayers.

{Click here for more}

Middle sister girl from Full House was addicted to crystal meth

Are you serious? Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen took part in her intervention?
[ABC News]

{Click here for more}

#1 Single

You remember Lisa Loeb, right? When that song Stay came out I pretty much loved her (I liked the green dress she wore in the video and, I mean, she was wearing glasses, so I had to like her). Anyway, I bought her cd back in high school and pretty much didn't think that much about her after that. But I'm really into her new show #1 Single. The concept is pretty obvious - she comes to NY to enter the dating scene and find someone to settle down with (can you believe she's 37!?)

Anyway, when I was watching episode 2, I was not expecting what she had in store for us. She was appearing on the Isaac Mizrahi show and I guess they have this thing where she shows him what kind of underwear she's wearing.... Anyway, she went the extra mile for Isaac and did a full-on runway walk in her thong. Say what you want about her goods and how they look in that thong, but we should all hope our asses will look like that when we're pushing 40 (or when we're pushing 27, whatever).

The video clip is after the jump.

{Click here for more}

Lindsay Lohan threatens The Smoking Gun

Or her lawyers do anyway.

So you know how she lost her diary a little while ago and got it back with a few pages missing? Well, I think it's safe to guess those pages contain potential ammunition for gossip columns and blogs and that its release would be something of a disaster for Lindsay, because she has employed the Los Angeles power law firm, Lavely & Singer to prevent her secrets from going public.

The Smoking Gun posted the letter it received from Lindsay's lawyers on its website and had this to say about it:

We're not sure of the accuracy of the claims in the below legal threat letter--which does not use Lohan's name--but we do know that a recent Lavely & Singer missive sent TSG's way is filled with blatant lies and misstatements. We've repeatedly tried to discuss these with author/name partner Martin Singer, but the braying litigator has ducked us for three weeks.

God bless those truth soldiers at The Smoking Gun.

{Click here for more}

Britney Spears pregnant?

So many disturbing thoughts go through my mind when I consider the possibility. Like, this would be K-Fed's fourth child. One more and he's got a basketball team. Second, did Britney get pregnant on pupose six months after giving birth to her first child and two months after kicking Kevin out in a blind rage? How many more children is she going to have before she's 25?

Sigh.
{Image Source}

{Click here for more}

Hayden Christensen is a player for real

Ok, so I'm watching the State of the Union Address and they just had the first (totally spontaneous) standing ovation and GWB has told about three sob stories about soldiers who are totally willing to die for democracy and Iraqis who love America and all sorts of patriotic anecdotes. Boring. But thank God for the internet!

So all these blogs have pictures confirming that Hayden Christensen and Sienna Miller are together. Whatever, who cares, right? I had all the evidence I needed already. Egotastic claimed to have two sets of photos with Hayden and Sienna. The girl in the second set (in the car), definitely looks like she's strung out on cocaine, so it's probably Sienna. In the first set of pictures though (the one where they're kissing), you can hardly see the girl's face except for in that one picture, and it's hard to tell if it's Sienna. Hollywood Tuna claims to have a source who says that girl is not Sienna Miller, but Hayden's friggin girlfriend, some model named Lola Skye.

So, I don't really know what was or was not going on with Hayden and Sienna in Sienna's apartment, but that girl he's hardcore making out with Enrique Iglesias-Anna Kournikova style on the beach is definitely not her.

I'm sorry this is too funny. GWB just made a social security joke (growing old broke is hilarious!) about two of his dad's favorite people turning 60 - him and Bill Clinton- and Hillary had the meanest, "I fucking hate this asshole" look on her face. Great stuff. I <3 the State of The Union Address.

{Click here for more}

Study hard kids!

This doesn't have anything to do with celebrity gossip, and if you're not from New York or have never lived in New York, you might not appreciate this, but I have to post this.

In case you don't know, New York is a rough city to grow up in. Besides having to constantly dodge stray bullets and avoid being falsely identified as a robbery suspect by the cops and subsequently arrested, beaten or shot by them, you also have to go through this awful period in middle school when you apply for specialized public high schools. One of New York's most prestigious public high schools is Stuyvesant (it's probably only rivaled by Hunter College High School).

When I was in the 8th grade, I took the ridiculously hard entrance exam for the school after studying for weeks. I didn't get in (I missed it by 5 effing points!). The day I got my results, I cried in gym class in the middle of a volleyball game (I'm getting a little misty just thinking about it). The reason I rehash this painful story is because of an item I read on Gothamist today.

Gothamist (who did get into Stuyvesant - or at least the editor who posted this did) had an excerpt from an article in New York Magazine about Stuyvesant's "cuddle puddle."

Forget Henrietta Hudson-- the new lesbian hotspot is the second floor of Stuyvesant High School during 10th period (after 3pm.) Of course, that's only if you believe the slightly tittilating cover article in this week's New York Magazine:

Alair is headed for the section of the second-floor hallway where her friends gather every day during their free tenth period for the "cuddle puddle," as she calls it. There are girls petting girls and girls petting guys and guys petting guys. She dives into the undulating heap of backpacks and blue jeans and emerges between her two best friends, Jane and Elle, whose names have been changed at their request. They are all 16, juniors at Stuyvesant. Alair slips into Jane's lap, and Elle reclines next to them, watching, cat-eyed. All three have hooked up with each other. All three have hooked up with boys - sometimes the same boys. But it's not that they're gay or bisexual, not exactly. Not always.

If I had known this is what 10th period is like at Stuy, I would have studied harder for that effing test. I spent 10th period in Math Team.

{Click here for more}

Brintey Spears to guest star on Will & Grace

Could she be trying to reach back out to her fans (especially her ample gay fans) in anticipation of a comeback? I hope so. We all know she has a lot of new bills to pay, so she better plan on making a new album pretty soon. Kevin needs to keep the personalized brake pads on his Ferrari looking like new and that's not going to pay for itself.
[MSNBC]

{Click here for more}

This is not very attractive

Find out who this belongs to after the jump.


{Image Source}

{Click here for more}

Paris Hilton finally feels shame?

Come now. Ms. Paris "hack into my Sidekick with naked pictures of me, teenage sex tape, piss myself in a taxi, don't know that London is in the UK" Hilton has lots of reasons to be ashamed of herself, but to everyone's surprise she never seems to actually be ashamed (or at least she never admits to it). So I think it's funny that one of the few times I read a report on Paris Hilton feeling "humiliated" is over her show, The Simple Life, being kicked from Fox to E!(is that even considered a downgrade?). Anyway she wants out of the show:

"Paris [Hilton] is still consulting her lawyers to come up with a last-minute way out," a source close to the show told Star People. "She wants no part of it. She's about to launch her first album in a few months, and that's what she wants to focus on. To her, to be reduced to a cable show is humiliating."

Yes, being featured in a program on E! is beneath what we've come to expect from someone of Paris Hilton's status.
[Post Chronicle]

{Click here for more}

Bobbi Christina's My Space page

The genetic time bomb that is Bobbi Christina Houston-Brown set up a My Space profile. Pink is the New Blog sums it up well:

Isn't she like 14 years old? I think Bobby and Whitney should be concerned ... her My Space name heading is $SeXi kRiSsY$ and her My Space URL is myspace.com/NIMPHO_BABBY ... which is prolly the 14 year old misspelling of Nympho Baby. That's just not right, y'all!

Her page has been made private now, but you know what's on there. It reminds me that I've often thought about posting something on here about which celebrity kids will be on the covers of In Touch 10 years from now. I'm giving Ms. Bobbi two years. (Come on! "Nympho Baby?!")

{Click here for more}

Britney Spears chases down Kevin Federline to assure he doesn't turn their son into "trailer trash"

She should chase him all the way to divorce court, but that hasn't happened yet.

One day Britney reportedly found out that Kevin was on his way to getting Sean Preston's ear pierced and hopped in her car to try to stop him. Luckily she caught up with Kevin and let him have a piece of her mind. Britney was furious apparently because (a) Sean had not had his tetanus shot yet, (b) he would look like a girl if he had earrings, and (c) he would look like trailer trash. Nice save Brit.

[Female First]

{Click here for more}

SAG Awards

I only caught about 20 minutes of the red carpet show on E! and I stopped watching the awards show at 9, but I think I caught enough to see what everyone was wearing. In general, I think everyone looked nice and managed to keep it classy.

Here are some of the highlights in my opinion:

Kyra Sedgwick

Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillipe - I don't know who designed this dress, but I hope it's not another one of Chanel's "vintage" dresses.

Katherine Heigl - I like the gold belt. I pretty much like anything that's gold.

Felicity Huffman - I thought she looked great in this dress and I admire the fact that she's not ashamed of her super tiny tits.

Sandra Oh - her dress is nice and for once she managed to look almost as pretty as an average-looking Korean woman. I thought it was cool that when she got her award she gave a litte shout out to Asian American actors.

What I did see of the awards show was pretty ok. Felicity Huffman was really cute when she got her award. She was glowing the whole time.

When the cast of Desperate Housewives got up to get their award, I noticed that Alfre Woodard and Marcia Cross's dresses were the same color. Don't their stylists communicate about things like this? They should. It was sad because the dresses were individually pretty, but ridiculous-looking together.

Dakota Fanning was the best presenter I saw (she presented Shirley Temple-Black with the Life Acheivement Award). How old is she? She was great.

Ted Danson looks like he's 80 years old. He needs to do something about the white hair and the grandpa glasses. Not a good look.

When Jamie Foxx was presenting, he kept stumbling over his words, and insisted on starting over every time, music and all. He did it three times. It was very bizarre.

After the jump, more good outfits, a few bad ones, a couple I was on the fence about.

Nicollette Sheridan

S. Epatha Merkerson - Her outfit isn't anything special, but I just really like her.

Nancy O'Dell - Man, she looks hot.

Sandra Bullock

Dakota Fanning - If I were 11 or however old she is, I would love to wear this dress. It's very cute and age-appropriate.

Hillary Swank - She always looks like all she had to do was get out of the shower and throw on an amazing dress to walk the red carpet looking better than everyone who spent 7 hours getting ready.

Michelle Williams & Heath Ledger

Jake Gyllenhaal - It's impossible for him to not look hot.

Marg Helgenberger

Patricia Clarkson - Like I said, I have a weakness for gold.

Here are a few bad ones:

Michelle Rodriguez - She looked like she spent a lot of time cleaning up, but her dress was fugly. Shiny, buy fugly.

Geena Davis - The top of her dress was awkward and I was constantly afraid I would see a little bit of her boobies. Very afraid.

Eva Longoria & Tony Parker - I guess they are still together. I think that's great, but Eva looks like Little Bo Peep. It's admirable that Tony tried to match with the shiny purple shirt, which is also kind of ugly, but together they were the worst dressed couple of the night.

Ellen Pompeo - Could her top get any lower? Does she even have breasts under there?

Kevin Bacon - He looks really old.

Thandie Newton - She's georgous, but this dress belongs on a 15 year-old at a Greenwich cotillion. Also, her body is starting to look like Calista Flockhart's.

On the fence:

Mariska Hargitay - I didn't know she was pregnant. I like how this dress looks on her, but that lacy stuff on the neckline is not cute. She looks great though. Totally glowing.

This is a great dress, but her boobs look like they want out. I feel bad for them.

If that sheer thing on top came off, I'd love this dress.

Phew! That was a lot of work. I'm going to watch the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition I DVR'ed

{Click here for more}

Who's that baby?

Guess who's super-cute baby this is.

The answer after the jump.

Awww

{Click here for more}

Lindsay Lohan in the hospital again

I don't know a 19-year-old who has been to the hospital as much as Lindsay Lohan. This time she was getting stitches on her leg after an accident at Bryan Adams' London home. She apparently was soaking wet and slippery from lotion when she slipped on the stairs (there was no way she could have seen that coming) and got a cut on her leg when the ceramic mug she was carrying shattered. Sweet God, what is the matter with her?
[Daily Dish]

{Click here for more}

Gung Hay Fat Choy

Can you believe it's 4704 already? To celerate Chinese New Year, Meg Ryan went out on the town with her new Chinese baby. She's cute. It's too bad she's going to grow up with an identity complex.



{Image Source}

{Click here for more}