Kevin Federline will release duets with Britney Spears, but only if his album is a hit

Kevin Federline either has already recorded or will be recording a few songs with Britney that would be released on his album (which he has still not found a record company willing to invest in) only if he secures a fan base of his own beforehand. Lest he be known for a lecherous relationship with his millionaire, pop star wife who paid for his first single, his Ferrari, his Rolex watches, his personalized rims, his tube socks & flip slops, his corn rows, his Newports and his weed. No, Kevin Federline is a man of integrity. It's great to finally see a self-made man in Hollywood.

[Post Chronicle]
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Celebrity 420

Blogger is being kind of weird and I need to take a nap, but there is one thing you need to know about today. Cityrag compiled a list of celebrities who definitely (probably) smoke pot. It's not as exciting as a list of celebs who definitely do coke would be, but whatever, if Paris Hilton tripping over her high heels while drunk is considered news, then this is news too. Actually, now that I think about it, which do you think is the drug of choice among celebrities? I always assumed coke (maybe crack for C-listers & Whitney Houston), but I don't know anymore.

[Cityrag]
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Emancipate this!

A lot of blogs have been ripping into Mariah Carey's figure. While I agree it's hard to ignore the extra pounds she's put on since her emancipation from good taste in clothes, she's really not fat... she just has some junk in the trunk. The thickness looks good on her (unlike the thickness in Star Jones's neck before she had her gatstric bypass surgery).

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Someone please save Whitney Houston

First of all, please save her from that thing attacking her head, then someone else can start getting her off the crack. I'm not saying she needs to quit cold tukey, but maybe if Bobby Christina started sneaking more and more baking soda in her stash, she'd eventually be weaned off it.

"The once-stunning Grammy winner was photographed at an Atlanta gas station at 4 a.m. one morning last month, looking disheveled and bizarre in pajama bottoms, a $50,000 fur coat and a messy wig."

This behavior isn't unusual for Whitney, and honestly, at 4 am, pulling a coat over your pajamas and heading to the gas station for a Butterfinger is well within the boundaries of normalcy. But what I find remarkable is how clear it's become that Whitney, not Bobby, is the train wreck in that relationship.

"But sources close to Brown say the ex-New Edition crooner is up to date on child support payments to his ex-galpal and Stoughton resident Kim Ward, who has two of Bobby’s kids. Brown even made a whopping payment to the kids’ college funds last fall, ending years of delinquency."

I think it's cool that she still smiles for the camera though. Class act.

[Boston Herald]

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Britney Spears accomplishes the unthinkable: loses money on Manhattan real estate

I'm sure many of you are completely aware of the insanely unreasonable price of real estate in New York City. And it might be difficult for you to imagine the price of any apartment going down (do Kevin Federline's cornrows really have the power to devalue everything they come into contact with?), but Britney Spears recently had to drop the selling price of her Manhattan apartment by more than $1 million.

To be fair to Britney, I'm sure she's still making a decent profit on the apartment and my mom tells me the real estate market is cooling (I have to take her word for it since I don't read news that isn't accompanied by pictures of Paris Hilton waving back at the paparazzi). So, while I'd like to blame Kevin Federline for all aspects of Britney's demise, I suppose this most recent setback could be attributed to poor timing and not his contagious failure. You win this time Kevin!

[Teen Hollywood]
{Picture Source} - the picture is from the Curbed pool on Flickr and was taken from the Brooklyn side of the Manhattan bridge, which is obviously not anywhere close to where Britney Spears's apartment is.

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Angelina Jolie confirms she is pregnant!

People magazine reports today that representatives for both Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt confirmed that she is expecting Brad Pitt's baby. And so, today the first Baby Bump Watch of 2006 has begun. How pregnant do you think she looks in this picture? Three months? Is is possible to tell how hot the baby is going to be yet? Do you think it will eventually make out with one (both?) of its siblings? If it did, would that be incestuous even though they're not related by blood? I mean, if you can marry your cousin....

[People]

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That other middle kid from Malcolm in the Middle buys Nick & Jessica's old house

That's pretty much all there is to say about that.

[ABC News]

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Lindsay Lohan says she was never bulimic, Vanity Fair twisted her words

lindsay lohan, vanity fair

Um, ok Lindsay. So really what your saying here is you'd rather all your fans think you are a complete idiot rather than admit you have an eating disorder. I can see how a lot of the quotes are sort of open for interpretation, but what about this: "I knew I had a problem and I couldn't admit it. I saw that S.N.L. after I did it. My arms were disgusting. I had no arms." Anyway, I take back what I said about Lindsay Lohan having balls.

[Popsugar]

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You don't have to read it if you don't want to

But it's my blog and I can post as much about Star Jones as I want. Isn't that picture brilliant?
[Gallery of the Absurd]

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Link time. You can thank me later.

OC round-up from Just Jared, including: Adam Brody shopping, Mischa Barton shopping, and Benjamin McKenzie chilling with his little brother.
[Just Jared]

Michael K reviews this week's episode on Flavor of Love better than I ever could... screen captures and everything! I can't believe you still aren't watching this show.
[Dlisted]

Tabloid Tuesday! Angelinapalooza.
[National Ledger]

Perhaps as thanks for supplying Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos with their pre-car crash "mind-altering substances," Nicole Richie was seen "making out hardcore" with Steve-O.
[Perez Hilton]

Kristin Davis and Steve Martin - definitely Hollywood's next hot couple. But Lindsay Lohan and Leonardo DiCaprio are a close second.
[Sky News] via [Pink is the New Blog]

Mischa Barton is apparently not a Pearl Girl
[Just Jared]

And finally, Colin Farrell's sex tape.
[Dlisted]

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Brad Pitt wants Angelina Jolie's babies, but not her?

Possibly. First of all, rumors that Angelina Jolie is pregnant are intensifying with reports that Brad Pitt called Jennifer Aniston to inform her that he and Jolie are having a baby. But some reports are also saying that while Brad is happy about becoming a father to Maddox, Zahara, and unborn Brangelina, he wants out of his relationship with Jolie (even his grandma says so). Well, I once heard on Law & Order that you know you've come to the right decision in a feud when no one is happy. So congratulations to all.

[Post Chronicle]
[Post Chronicle]

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I know you don't like reading about Star Jones, but she makes it so easy

In Star Jones's new book, "Shine," she cruelly shares intimate details of her romantic journey with her definitely not gay husband, Al Reynolds. Here is an excerpt from Page Six:

"The first time he held me in his arms sexually, it was almost frightening," Jones writes of Reynolds, who once famously attended a Fire Island beach party in his bachelor days wearing only a banana hammock. "We had an intoxicating sexual connection the first two months of our relationship."

Now that you have that mental image fixed in your brain (I can't guarantee there won't be permanent damage) also keep in mind that despite their burning sexual attraction, Star and Al didn't seal the deal until after they exchanged vows. So, brave Al Reynolds somehow had the willpower to contain his undoubtedly mutual sexual attraction for that fat bitch Star Jones, until after their tasteful, corporate-sponsored wedding. He is every straight man's hero, I'm sure.

Full Page Six item after the jump.

"THE View" co-host Star Jones may have sworn off Burger King, but when it comes to negotiating perks, she still has it her way.

Publishing sources familiar with the newly svelte daytime diva's contract for "Shine," her recently released book about her "Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love," say the first-time author demanded and ultimately received an astronomical $85,000 budget to promote the sudsy self-helper - three times the amount allotted to Nicole Richie for her quasi-fictional debut, "The Truth About Diamonds."

Though it's still too early to tell if the investment will pay off, one passage in Jones' book - described on the dust jacket as "laugh out loud" funny - already has the Web world in hysterics.

Alongside makeup tips and weight loss advice, Jones offers an all-too-detailed answer to those who question her hubby Al Reynolds' robust heterosexuality.

"The first time he held me in his arms sexually, it was almost frightening," Jones writes of Reynolds, who once famously attended a Fire Island beach party in his bachelor days wearing only a banana hammock.

"We had an intoxicating sexual connection the first two months of our relationship."

One particularly nasty reviewer on Amazon.com, where the book has been awarded two stars out of a possible five, suggests the following alternate title: "Swine: The Star Jones guide to being a self-deluded washed-up hag with a husband as straight as Tom Cruise is sane."

Meanwhile, we also hear that Star's 35-year-old beefcake banker won't be her only companion as she traverses the country dispensing her special brand of womanly wisdom. In an almost unheard of move, sources say Jones's contract also stipulates that her publisher, ReganBooks, provide her with bodyguards at all of her public appearances - presumably to protect her from those gangs of surly soccer moms known to obsess over her every word.

Asked about Jones's promotional budget, her rep at ReganBooks offered the following nondenial: "It's not true, but we would never comment on it if it was." And the security detail? "I've worked with a lot of lesser authors who had security and it would not be unusual for someone at her level."

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Could this be Paris Hilton's number three

Steve-O claims he gave her and Stavros Niarchos "mind-altering substances" (drugs? alcohol? pictures of your parents having sex?) before their car crash last November. So, Paris Hilton: one, two, three strikes, your out. Just kidding, the rules don't apply to you.

[The Scoop - MSNBC]

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Nick Lachey describes kinky bedroom secrets

I know this blog is dedicated to information none of us need to know, but I think there is such a thing as celebrity TMI. This is an example:

"Sometimes I did walk in her shoes. It was sort of a kinky thing we liked to get into...I haven't even realized my full dirty-talk potential. I think there's some greater moments out there for me."

It's nice to know Nick has goals for the future.
[National Ledger]

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Friend of Stavros Niarchos files for a restraining order against Paris Hilton

If trouble comes in threes, then perhaps the worst is yet to come for Paris Hilton, but things are already not going well for her in '06. So far she has already been deposed in a $10 million slander lawsuit brought against her by her former boyfriend, Paris Latsis's ex-girlfriend Zeta Graff, and now a restraining order is being brought against her.

The complaint was filed by a friend of Stavros Niarchos, and claims that Hilton, "has a drug and alcohol problem, some rather shady associates, and is known for erratic behavior." He says he needs the restraining order because he believes he is in "imminent danger."

The whole thing is kind of confusing to me, but what I understand is that this guy used to handle some PR for Niarchos and also introduced him to Hilton but for some reason she turned on him (maybe because she thought he was trying to get Niarchos back together with MK Olsen?) and tried to ruin his career by calling his clients and warning them not to do business with him.

Despite all this, it still sucks less to be Paris Hilton than it does to be you.

[Monsters & Critics]

UPDATE: I read something else that says this friend of Niarchos who filed the restraining order, Brian Quintana, claims that Paris Hilton called him a "lazy Mexican." We already knew she has called black people dumb niggers, but that was probably for street cred. Calling Mexicans lazy is totally indefensible.

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