Divorce Kevin website launched

Activism at its best.
http://www.divorcekevin.com/

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Brokeback Mountain sold out at Chelsea Clearview

So don't even bother.
[Moviefone]

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Shotgun wedding?

Matt Damon got married.
[Gawker]

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Foxy Brown not having a good week

All of Foxy Brown's secrets seem to be coming out this week. First her lawyer lets it slip that she is essentially deaf. This turned out to probably not be true, but Foxy seemed pretty upset. Then she freaks out at a bank and we all find out she's broke and her business manager has been paying all her bills for a while.

[Page Six]

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Jake Gyllenhaal really wants his sister to get naked

When I was a kid, my mom and dad thought it was cute to take pictures of me and my brother in the bathtub together. Although he was like 1 1/2 and I was like 5 1/2, it kind of grosses me out still. Jake Gyllenhaal is not burdened by those hang ups.

"When asked how he feels about seeing his sister in a naked scene, Jake confessed: "It's great I'm sort of saying, Yeah, it's right. Show them what it's all about!""

[Female First]

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Lots of news, but I'm lazy

Weren’t you shocked about DJ AM and Nicole Richie breaking off their engagement?! I sure was. It might have something to do with both of their weight issues. It might have something to do with her alleged ‘partying’ in LA when AM was in Vegas working.
[Page Six]
[Perez Hilton]
Cranston, Rhode Island & Paris Hilton – each just as classy as the other.
[Dlisted]
Matt Damon’s having a baby, fulfilling his promise to Ben that since they couldn’t have babies together, they would just raise them together.
[Spotlighting News]
I guess after Paris Hilton listens to her own album, she feels like getting a colonic.
Paris Hilton might be bulemic, but Ashlee Simpson definitely ‘used to be’ anorexic. I know. Try not to shit yourself from the shock.
Eminem to remarry his ex, Kim. You remember her, right? He used to always rap about killing her. Right. Her.
[NY Daily News]

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J-Lo dream

So last night I dreamt that Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony were giving me a ride on their 747 jet. Mark was the pilot. I think I was in Miami visiting my grandparents and I'm pretty sure I was just standing around the tarmac when they came along and offered to take me back to New York.

So I got on the plane, we took off, and I thought I was going to die. Mark Anthony was a terrible pilot. Anyway, at some point it became obvious to everyone on the plane that Mark was not a qualified pilot and he should try to land. So we had a really awkward landing, and we all got off the plane.

But the next thing I remember is the plane still flying even though Jennifer, Mark and I were on the ground. Then we realized that their son (I don't know where he came from either, but he looked like he was about seven or eight years old) was still up there and we didn't know how to save him. So we were all watching the scene unfold from my mom's backyard and then all of a sudden the plane lands and their son gets out unharmed and everybody cheers.

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Britney & Kevin are back together for now

Love the family values.

[Dlisted]

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What do you think, Donald Trump?

I'm not sure why, but Donald Trump was on the Howard Stern radio show. I guess he's trying to class up his act before the new baby comes. Anyway, he talked about his wife's pregnancy, specifically about the weight she has gained and where she has gained it. Then he referred to his pregnant wife as a 'monster.' Nice.

But he didn't stop there. He put in his two cents about a few other female celebrities:

Heidi Klum - Heidi Klum, who recently gave birth, doesn't look quite as alluring as she used to. "I looked at her the other day, and it's off," Trump declared. "There's no question."
Nicolette Sheridan - Then Stern played an old clip in which Trump dissed Nicolette Sheridan's figure ("very flat-chested")
Carmen Electra - Carmen Electra's implants ("they look like two light bulbs")
Halle Berry - "From the midsection to the shoulders, she's a 10. The face is a solid 8. And the legs are maybe a little bit less than that."

[Page Six]

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Poll

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Sometimes I feel bad for celebrities

Here is the headline from the NY Post: Foxy's CD Could Most 'DEAF' be her Last. Classy.

So I guess what happened is for some reason Foxy Brown's lawyer stated that the rapper is "pretty much totally deaf" during a court hearing yesterday (you remember when she was charged with assaulting her manicurist, right?) The fact that she is going or has gone deaf is totally horrible. The fact that her lawyer felt that he had to mention this in court, apparently without consulting her first, is unfortunate.

I understand the need to report it - I, obviously, LOVE unfortunate celebrity news, but I just thought the headline was low even for the Post. I mean, she's deaf. KFed chasing after the tow truck hauling his Ferrari away: funny. Actually, hilarious. Rapper going deaf because of some weird viral infection: not funny.

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Kevin begs Britney to forgive him like his allowance depends on it

So apparently Kevin is Vegas begging Britney to come back to him/give him back his car. Hmm. Am I the only one who thinks this is all just being staged for the 2nd season of Chaotic? Does Britney have her video camera with her?
[Post Chronicle]

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Natalie Portman or Sinead O'Connor?

[Hollywood Tuna]

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Comedy Central tells Dave Chappelle to eat doo doo butter and die

So I'm watching the Daily Show right now and during a commercial for some Comedy Central '05 special thing I hear, 'Chappelle Show season 3.' Hmm. I investigate further and discover that Comedy Central is airing the material Chappelle taped before his South African soul searching crazy vacation.

Apparently, having given up on ever seducing Chappelle back to the network, but determined to profit from his evil, mad comedy genius, Comedy Central will air this season with no input from Chappelle himself and presumably will not share any of the profit with him. Whatever. Kind of fucked up. But do you think it's still going to be funny? Don't you think that it is impossible for even the unfunniest fuck up at Comedy Central to spoil Dave Chappelle's comedy? I think we all have to believe this is true. Please comment.

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Wait up Britney! I'm out of breath!

The unraveling of Britney Spears' marriage to Kevin Federline is progressing faster than I can blog. In the past 24 hours my Google Britney Spears news alert has flooded my inbox with the following:

First, Britney, being a master of subtlety, replaced her wedding ring with a skull and crossbones ring. [National Ledger]
Then, being also a model parent, she brought her 2 1/2 month-old child to Vegas with her to celebrate their newly broken home. [Review Journal]
Then she consulted a lawyer. [Post Chronicle]
But Kevin was spotted chilling with her brother??? [Popsugar]
My brain is spinning. Even more than normal.

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Cruise-Holmes Independence Weekend wedding

Based on a wedding registry that only might actually belong to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, it appears their wedding will be on July 7th. How all-American.

[Female First]

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Britney has the last laugh

Ouch! Not only has Britney Spears kicked Kevin Federline and his cornrows out onto the dirty streets of the Beverly Hills Hotel, but she also took away his (her) Ferrari! Reports say this picture is of the Ferrari Britney bought for Kevin being towed back to the dealer. How will Kevin get to the local gas station to buy menthol cigarettes? How will he travel to the 'hood to get his hair done? How will he get to the Billboard Music Awards to show his million dollar rap skills off to the world? Kevin Federline fucked his life up for real.

[Perez Hilton]
[The Bosh]

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