Hilarious!

Unnecessary censorship.
[Daily Sixer] via [IDLYITW]

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BREAKING!!!!!! Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have a baby girl!

History in the making!!
[People]

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Gross!

I know I've been doing a lot of posts on Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, but there is seriously something wrong with those two. They are not normal. Are you ready for what I'm about to tell you? Have you eaten lunch recently? You might want to let it settle before you read this. Ok. I warned you. Here are Tom Cruise's latest plans for the birth of Katie's baby:

The 43 year-old star told America's GQ magazine: "I'm going to eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm going to eat the cord and the placenta right there."

Cruise, a devoted Scientologist, made the decision after reading the afterbirth contains important nutrients and vitamins.

Nutrients? Seriously? What about multivitamins? Oh and he's going to eat the umbilical cord too. Barf!
[Life Style Extra]

UPDATE: This isn't funny. I bet he wasn't kidding.

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VW

Um...so these new Volkswagen commercials where you don't know what's going on at first because it's just a couple people in a car having random conversation and then they have a horrible head-on collision, but seconds later are marveling at the wreckage with barely a scratch on their bodies thanks to the VW's amazing safety features. Totally disturbing. Also, I've seen two commercials so far and both have black people in them... how come the only time VW has black people in their commerciala is when they smack their cars 40 miles an hour into a pickup truck?

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Tom Cruise on Primetime

So I totally forgot and missed it! Do they ever play repeats? I've never actually watched Primetime. Anyway, here is a clip of Tom pretending to be a beaming father and husband-to-be. Man. It looks like he's not even buying it anymore. Watch his face when Diane Sawyer asks him if Katie does anything that drives him crazy. He has no idea what to say! Video is after the jump.
{Image Source}

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The always quotable Kevin Federline

On being a pimp:

Federline wore a tracksuit with the words "Pimp Daddy" on the back to his wedding celebration in 2004 and he explains, "If I'm gonna be a rapper, that image can't really hurt.

"A real pimp is a dude who's making money off bitches who sling that ass on the street.

"Nowadays, people will say they're a pimp just because they're suave.

"I'm not no pimp. I'm just Kevin. Happy husband. Happy father. I didn't pimp Britney. I found love".

What an asshole.
[FemaleFirst] via [Dlisted]

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Summary of Katie Holmes pregnancy conspiracy theories

From Slash Film:

Some people are saying that she already had the baby.

Others are reporting that it's not Cruise's baby at all (may-be it was Chris Klein's and they are keeping the facade to make the time line work out).

Some insane Internet websites are reporting that Holmes was inseminated with L. Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm.

Others are just reporting that the whole pregnancy is fake and that they will secretly adopt their child.

They're all so credible, I just don't know which one to buy into.

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