Laguna Beach gossip

I know that the Laguna Beach cast doesn't deserve any real fame, but I can't help being fascinated by them and their pseudo reality personas. If you liked the show, you'll love the secrets revealed in this blog.

[The LB Daily] via [Best Week Ever]

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Thanks and apology

I would like to publicly acknowledge and thank my sole commenter, Carolyn, for being a dedicated reader. I would also like to apologize for posting an unflattering picture of her and telling an unflattering story about her. My bad.

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Cowboys @ Giants

Week 13:

I've just about recovered from last week's game. The truth is, a win against (arguably) the best team in the NFC would have been nice, but not expected. And although almost doesn't really count, the Giants successfully established themselves as a playoff capable team. In order to actually get to the playoffs, however, the Giants pretty much have to win tomorrow. Unlike last week's game, this game will have more than a symbolic impact on the Giants' playoff hopes. The winner of tomorrow's game will have sole possession of the #1 spot in the NFC east with four difficult games for both teams left in the regular season.

The Giants have not had an easy time beating the Cowboys, especially since Bill Parcells took over. I think the difference tomorrow is that the Giants now know that they are good enough to beat the Cowboys. They came close a few weeks ago after a fourth quarter comeback, but eventually lost in overtime.

The Giants are in very good shape - all their key players are healthy and playing well. They also definitely have what is takes to score on the Cowboys. I'm not sure the defense will match up well against Drew Bledsoe's passing game, but if they do break up a few passes and force Dallas into a ground game, the Cowboys are in trouble.

I think as long as the Giants don't shoot themselves in the foot with penalties (last week's 16 penalties, I think, was a fluke - the Giants had made noticeable improvements in this area), the offense gets Tiki Barber involved early, and Eli Manning doesn't wait until the fourth quarter to grace us with his quarterback abilities, the Giants will win. I think they'll win mostly because they want this win more than the Cowboys do.

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Warning!

The link below will take you to a scary place - Star Jones giving her husband a lap dance. While I'm on the topic of Star Jones, you may have noticed her disgustingly dramatic weight loss. Although she has maintained that her diet secrets consist of healthy eating and exercise, I think we all know that simply can't be true. That bitch was enormous a few months before her wedding and then suddenly was able to squeeze into couture gowns.

Well, a few months before she began to lose weight I heard on the Wendy Williams radio show that Star was getting gastric bypass surgery. Judge for youself. This is a woman who revealed on her show that she once stayed at a hotel because the elevator in her building was broken and she couldn't make it up to her 10th floor apartment on foot. All of a sudden she's an exercise junkie?

And while I am on the topic of diets, don't you feel kind of bad for Janet Jackson? Remember when she looked like this?

CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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Brad Pitt close to fulfilling his dream of becoming a daddy

Brad and Angelina take perhaps one more step towards marriage and make themselves (almost) official mom and dad to Maddox and Zahara. According to Perez Hilton, Brad Pitt's publicist confirms that he is in the process of legally adopting both of Angelina Jolie's children. This development, along with rumors that a prenup agreement has already been reached, makes me wonder how close they are to a wedding. Normally I would turn to my talent for predicting the future here, but ever since I was proven wrong on when Jessica and Nick would officially split, I've decided to be more cautious about posting my predictions.
[Perez Hilton]
{Source}

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All the news I didn't post

Here is all the news I should have posted over the past couple days, but didn't because I suck.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have their baby! I guess Garners's doctors finally looked at her HUGE belly and decided it was time for that sucker to drop, so they induced labor on Thursday and Jennifer popped out what I have to imagine is the world's biggest baby girl.
[Reuters]
Pete Doherty slams Kate Moss for going to rehab for the wrong reasons. Meanwhile, he gets arrested after (honorably?) dropping out of rehab.
[Perez Hilton]
Who is this bitch? An Ohio State student goes on w(h)or(e)ldwide publicity tour, apologizing for making out with Nick Lachey while he was married to Jessica Simpson and helping to cause their break up. Meanwhile, Jessica is still unreasonably pouty.
[Popsugar]
[The Superficial]
Seth & Summer might be heading out to Providence in the fall. Seth at Brown and Summer at Providence College. Cute.
[The OC on Fox]

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Happy 24th birthday, Britney Spears

Apparently young celebrities like to celebrate birthdays and the holidays by separating from their spouses. Reports say Britney kicked Kevin out and that he is now staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. The funny thing is that when they were planning to get married last year, I remember reading that she didn't want to get a prenup, but eventually caved into her mother's insisting. Since Kevin will be in need of some cash pretty soon, I bet you he will sign a 'tell all' book deal as soon as the divorce is final. Maybe even before. It's already my favorite book of 2006.
[National Ledger]

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Ok, maybe 1 post

Goddamn Google News Alert!

Report says Britney is desperate to save her marriage and keep her family together. She asked Kevin to see a therapist with her, but Mr. Federline refused, reasoning that shrinks are for crazy people. Fair enough. Brit opts for psychic as an alternative.

[National Ledger]

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Feel bad for me

Today didn't start out so great (no trains at the 7th ave Q/B and the only time I have ever wished I had taken the F) and I have a ton of crap to do, so I doubt I will post anything today.

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Not really news

The following items aren't that interesting or newsworthy, but I guess I can't let that stop me:

Paris Hilton possibly engaged to Greek billionaire bf part II.
[Digital Spy]
Britney & Kevin determined to give their kid nightmares, turn him off Christmas forever and generally fuck him up for life.
[Spotlight News]
Britney gives Christina some marriage advice. Sigh.
[National Ledger]
Laguna Beach's Kristin getting a show on UPN. I guess all the other black people must like her.
[NY Daily News]
Jack Osbourne has a girlfriend I guess.
[Hollywood Tuna]
Even though Rachel Bilson possibly cheated on Adam Brody with Zach Braff, I can't hate on them. So cute.
[Oh No They Didn't!]
Ben and Jen whore themselves for Starbucks. There are worse things you could whore yourself for.
[Cityrag]
Jack White's having a baby.
[E!Online]

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Christina Aguilera's wedding pictures: Let down of the month

I can't believe these are the pictures I was so excited about.

[Just Jared]

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Cruise-Holmes summer wedding?

Tom Cruise says he wants to get married in the summer, perhaps in the Dominican Republic or Jamaica. I’ll tell you one thing – Jamaicans don’t like Scientologists, so he’s got to be getting married in the Dominican Republic and there is only one reason to get married in DR.
[MSN]
{Source}

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Texas makes you crazy!

Oh shit! Oh my God! So before I continue, I have to tell you that even if you didn't watch this season of the Real World, you HAVE to watch the reunion. I watched some of the earlier episodes and there were definitely a few good ones (Danny getting fucking punched in the face harder than anyone has ever been punched before in the history of television was a good start), but towards the end, it fell out of my tv rotation. I just happened to tune into MTV a few minutes before the reunion and was immediately thankful I did.

The first thing that caught my attention was Danny's awesome quote: "The thing that people don't understand is that we are all different personalities, different people from different parts of the country, just thrown into this house. You shouldn't expect us to get along. And there was a lot of tension...between us." No duh, Danny. Thanks for continuing the great Real World tradition of Boston intellectual roommates. And then, when discussing the ridiculous "groupie drawer," Nehemiah complained that MTV edited him to come off as gay because he was the only roommate not featured hooking up with someone. Awesome. And THEN (oh my God!) Wes and Johanna are now in a relationship! Holy shit on sooooo many levels. And I guess I was supposed to be excited about Danny and Melinda getting engaged. I kind of wasn't.

But THEN the greatest reunion bitchfest ever recorded ensued. To recap: the curly-haired host girl asked how they all felt about each other, and before anyone could answer, Nehemiah starts TEARING into Danny and calling him phony and saying that after the show he was shady to all the other roommates (this was pretty much confirmed later by the rest of the cast) and then Danny was all, whatever Nehemiah, you have the biggest ego in North America and you think no one can talk to you because you were on the Real World and OH MY FUCKING GOD, all hell broke loose and it sent my whole world into a tailspin, because, I mean, Nehemiah pretty much came off as a dick, but succeeded in making Danny come off as shady, but still, I was left wondering if my early assessment of Nehemiah being the only roommate not in serious need of psychotropic drugs was incorrect, because for the most part, everyone else seemed to have let go of all the retardedness of the show enough to at least be tolerant of one another, but Nehemiah had a bigfat chip on his shoulder apparently (probably because he is in the closet), and insisted on dwelling on the hatred and bitterness. That kind of sucks, but it's also kind of awesome of him to inject some excitement for the viewers at home. Sweet.

But Melinda and Danny seem to be a genuinely happy and healthy couple, and they do seem to be completely in love, so good for them. And although I was utterly shocked by the Johanna-Wes relationship revelation (mostly because Johanna is so clearly out of Wes's league in so many ways), they, surprisingly, were really cute together, so good for them too. Even Lacey and Rachel came off as completely over their idiotic behavior on the show.

In the end, the most important thing is that MTV has created yet another formerly normal, but now angry, chip-on-shoulder-y black man. Loves it.

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Jessica Simpson didn't have an effing prenup!

Seriously Joe. How did you drop the ball on this one?

When Jessica and Nick got married, Jessica said prenups seemed "too worldly" and opted not to have one. I could never be surprised that Jessica Simpson would say some dumb shit like that, but I am genuinely stunned by Joe Simpson's apparent lack of input on this issue.

[PerezHilton]
[IMDB]

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Three days late and a field goal short

I know I neglected to write a preview for Week 12. On Saturday I was busy not seeing Syriana, and after the game I was not in the mood to write about football. So here is my review of Week 12:

I cried three times in one night for the first time in my life. Ok, I didn't shed any actual tears because certain emotional barriers prevent me from doing so, but I totally wanted to cry.

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Lindsay Lohan continues bad ass-ness

Lindsay Lohan marches on with her 'Fuck you America, I'm a grown up now, but still kind of fucked up and angsty, and I'm going to be as bad as I want to, but you'll still love me because my boobs are back' tour and is getting a tattoo in tribute to John Lennon.
[Fashion Monitor Toronto]
Related:
Lindsay fucks with the paparazzi [A Socialite's Life]
Lindsay fucks with the press [Popsugar]
Lindsay fucks old married guys [Daily News] (last item on the page)

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Stripper Polls

It's apparently not a very good celebrity gossip week and I still have had zero coffee today (tummy ache), so I think I am going to dedicate some time to figuring out how to post polls. I tried a couple of times and they must not be retard-proof, because I couldn't get it to work. I was thinking of doing polls on: How satisfied are you with the F train? What do you like least about the F train? If you were to have a New Year's Day brunch, what time would you have it? Stuff like that. Let me know if there is a topic you'd like surveyed.

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Tabloid Tuesday Round up

You don't need me anymore.
[National Ledger]

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Celebrity hearts on the mend

• Nick Lachey throws into question who came out more slutty in his marriage.

• Paris Latsis and Tara Reid... I can't even finish this sentence without puking a little bit in my mouth.

[Page Six]

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It's 9:02 am and I have not had any coffee

It's too early for celebrity gossip, so I will instead send out a public service announcement. If you ever see more than 1 toddler on a subway car, don't get in it; especially if two or more children belong to the same mother or father. Also, if you are on a train in the morning and you're in a bad mood and someone happens to brush up against your coat or your enormous bag, keep it to yourself. Commuter rage hurts everyone. Also, don't ever take the F train. It's slow, crowded and it smells like piss and homelessness. And while I am at it, Kirsten Dunst is ugly.

Buy me this for Christmas

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Wax off. Forever.

Do you know how long I spent wondering how it's possible to catch a fly with chopsticks?

Pat Morita dies at 73
[WNBC-New York]
{Source}

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Mischa Barton Hawaii vacation update

In an earlier post I told you that Jenny spotted Mischa Barton vacationing in Hawaii with a mystery dark-haired man. Well, Jenny still could not positvely identify him. She said, "oh, and the guy was fat. because i remember thinking she could do better." Well, apparently Mischa doesn't think she can do any better, because she is allegedly engaged to this guy now.
[Female First]

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Wow

{Source}

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This weekend, real(ity) and fake relationships sadly came to an end

I hope you all had a tryptophan-tastic weekend. Mine was a lesson in poor planning. On Thursday afternoon my mom and I were at the supermarket buying a turkey. It was ready just in time for Friday. On Saturday I attempted to see Syriana. After facing the physical challenge of weaving through the holiday weekend shopping crowd, we made it to the theater 10 minutes early for the movie, but probably three or four hours too late to get tickets. The institution of marriage had a worse weekend:

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson announce their separation and ruin Thanksgiving! [Page Six]
The most pathetic publicity stunt ever pulled by B list celebrities comes to a dramatic end; Talan Torriero and Kimberly Stewart end their engagement and I finally stop throwing up. [People]

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