Kevin is trying to make his own millions... LOL!

Sorry. I could not contain myself. Kevin Federline never fails to crack me up. What is going on in his head? Did they braid his hair too tight? How much pot is he smoking? Well, whatever he's smoking led him to believe that he could be a world famous rapper and Las Vegas nightclub owner. Federlame (as he will be referred to from now on) is in negotiations to open up a club in the Palms casino. Now, unless he is using the piles of cash he's made from sales of PopoZao, I assume he's using more of Britney's money to finance this business venture. Why does she continue to be his personal ATM? I think it's time we really examine this.

I saw Chaotic. I know the deal. Britney was going through a lonely time when she met Kevin. The other thing I learned from Chaotic is that Britney Spears doesn't have any friends. Everyone she considers a friend is on her payroll including her mom, so no one wants to tell her anything she doesn't want to hear. Now, for some reason she really loves Kevin Federline. I can't explain why. He's ugly, dumb, disgusting, and crass. Maybe that is what she was looking for. I don't know. But despite all the trouble and money Ferdelame (ha!) has cost her, she wants to be with him. I like Britney Spears. I've liked her since my junior year of college (I was a consenting adult). So it really hurts me to see her throwing her life away like this with her piece of shit husband, but there is no indication that she will be getting rid of him any time soon, so we should all get used to it.

[Star Pulse]

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You've seen enough of Paris Hilton's boobies, right?

Paris Hilton continues to refuse Hugh Heffner's requests for her to pose for Playboy. Hilton recently said that she's been asked to do a photo shoot "a million times" and she has been courted by the magazine since she was 17, two whole years before she filmed her sex tape.
[Post Chronicle]

Here are some pictures of Kathy Hilton's nipples, just because I like you.

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Colin Farrell suing Perez Hilton

Perez Hilton reports that Colin Farrell is suing him for using images from the very temporary Colin Farrell sex tape distribution website dirtycolin.com. According the the email sent by Farrell's lawyers, posted on perezhilton.com, Perez ignored numerous orders to take the images down, and now Farrell is seeking millions of dollars in damages.

So now we have two train wrecks to look out for - Whitney Houston and her crack smoking, divorce wreck, and Colin Farrell and his crack smoking, sex tape wreck. At least Colin's train wreck has zealous legal representation.

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Ricky Martin's golden shower let down

Ok, so get ready. Ricky Martin likes to pee on his (female?) sex partners. Do you want to know how I know this? Because he said so in an interview with Blender Magazine. Then he was shocked that we were shocked that he a) pees on people during sex like R. Kelly and b) admits this freely in a magazine. Why did Ricky Martin chose to share this particular detail of his sexual life with the public? Did he think it would deflect our attention for the obvious question? Has he not seen this picture of him?

[Yahoo News]
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Odds not good for Team Aniston

So I guess if you haven't already, it's time to pick teams - both for the Super Bowl and for the Jolie-Aniston Bowl. I guess the odds are with Angelina Jolie at this point. She's given Brad Pitt three babies faster than Jennifer Aniston could have given him a cold, she's super hot, and she spends her free time saving third world countries.

On the other hand, Jennifer Aniston found out about Angelina's pregnancy through the tabloids, made a series of bad movies, and is dating a large, B-list celebrity who might be on the verge of breaking up with her. Apparently Jennifer is so distraught from all the good news coming from Brad an Angelina that's she's been going a little nutty and Vince Vaughn can't handle it.

So I'm going to go ahead and pick Team Jolie because I usually like to pick the obvious winner (I also pick the Steelers & Seahawks this week).

[National Ledger]
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Angelina Jolie is doing some serious multitasking

I am on Angelina Jolie overload (now I know how you feel, Jennifer Aniston). I just set up my Angelina Jolie google alert and, boy, it's a good thing gmail has like five billion MBs of space, because she's been in drama overdrive lately. Most recently there was the fake sonogram of her fetus beautifulus on Ebay, she's filming a new movie and saving the world simultaneously, and she and Brad are looking for a new house. And after all that she still had the energy to name her unborn child and continue to hold a grudge against her father. Maybe drinking blood is kind of like drinking Red Bull for her.

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Eva Longoria & Tony Parker broken up?

I guess he's too busy playing basketball and she's too busy... making out with Jamie Foxx and not winning Golden Globes. Sometimes love just isn't enough.

[Perez Hilton]

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The train wreck continues

After a blissful 14-year marriage, could Bobby and Whitney be divorcing? Possibly. He was heard saying that they are no longer together and are getting a divorce. So many questions! Who will get Bobbi Christina? No court would give her to Whitney, right? But Bobby... he's got like eight other kids he doesn't have custody of. Did they have a pre-nup? What will happen the next time Whitney's constipated!!!!!

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Golden Globe red carpet

Most of the fashion last night was boring, but there was a spattering of awful and great dresses.

A number of celebrities stole some of my grandma's old curtains, sewed them up and strolled down the red carpet looking like total shit. Gwyneth Paltrow used the most curtain material.

Anne Hathaway borrowed Courtney Love's makeup artist for the night.

Drew Barrymore abandoned her bra and her judgment for the evening.

Not only did Ellen Pompeo use my grandma's curtain material, she also let her design this one.

Here are some dresses I really liked.

Debra Messing

I don't know why people were hating on Marcia Cross's dress. I like the color,
alhough it was probably not meant to be worn by a redhead.

Evangeline Lilly

Resse Witherspoon

Sarah Jessica Parker

Zhang Ziyi

Here are some more I thought were hideous

Charlize Theron

Dayna Devon

Cute couple, bad purple nightmare dress

This is hideous, but I admire her attempt to class up her look for the occasion

Rosario Dawson

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Celebrity sightings

Max Power, official celebrity stalker, reports he's "95% sure" he saw James Frey at Book Court in Cobble Hill. "He was looking through a photography book by Edward Burtynsky (who had an exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum of Art that was incredible, by the way) and he looked up at everyone that came in the door."

Good job, Max. Great stalker work like this is probably why you were recently promoted to Celebrity Stalker II. Congratulations!

Another friend spotted Nick Cannon at BED wearing a trucker hat. Hot.

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Playing catch up

Hello there everyone. Sorry i have not been keeping up my end of the deal with this blog thing, but I'm back. I'm not going to try to catch up on everything I missed, but here is a quick recap of what i think are the most important events of the past few days:

Lindsay Lohan's asthma attack did not diminish her cleverness or her slutiness or her drunken, slutty girls' night outs with her mom.

All hell broke lose in the NFL last weekend in the best possible way.

Britney Spears continued her assault on eastern religion.

Eminem starts anew with the old.

Tom Cruise is not any less crazy than the last time I posted about him.

Maybe there's more. If I think of anything, I'll add it on.

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Cameron Diaz pregnant?

Yeah, I heard the rumors that Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake are engaged, but I didn't really believe them and I didn't want to bore us all to death. But pregnant? Justin, are you sure you want to go round for round with Britney in the marrying beneath you and having children too young competition?

[Digital Spy]

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