Celebrity jury duty

Hey guys. Long time no blog. So, to get things started again, I’d like to talk about Jessica Simpson. I think together we have the brain power to deconstruct the lies, infidelity and creepy parental involvement, and figure out what was really going on in the Simpson-Lachey marriage. I have some theories. Here are the facts (rumors) as I understand them:

It might be true that Jessica had a fling with Maroon 5’s Adam Levine last September. It also might be true that at some point during and/or soon after the filming of The Dukes of Hazard (they filmed last winter) she had a fling with Johnny Knoxville. It might even be true that Jessica was getting – um – extra special workouts from her personal trainer during the filming of the Dukes of Hazard.

Nick has been seen all over southern California and Las Vegas going to strip clubs, chatting up pretty girls at bars, hooking up with his ex, hooking up with college students, and numerous other sketchy activities.

Then there is the CaCee Cobb factor. CaCee was apparently the fly on the wall in the marriage and saw at least Jessica’s infidelity and sympathizes with Nick. Maybe she sympathizes a little too much. Plus, Jessica has been very generous to CaCee lately, buying her a new BMW and paying for her recent birthday party. I know they’re BFF, but isn’t it possible she’s hoping to buy her silence? Who knows what CaCee might have to say to Nick’s divorce attorney (rumored to be Laura Wasser who has also represented Angelina Jolie and Denise Richards) and how many of Jessica’s hard earned millions those stories could cost her.

Then there is the matter of Ashlee Simpson having questionable taste in fashion and men. Yuck.

Anyway, this is the case I present to you. Judge for yourself.